Tag Archives: stroke

Expect the Worst & Hope for the Best

16 Monday Feb 2015

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My dad once introduced me to someone as the biggest cynic he knew. I’m not sure that description really fits me, but I’ll take it. The title of this piece, “Expect the Worst & Hope for the Best,” is how I’ve often said I look at the world. I’m not sure that’s really an apt description either, but I think it comes closer. I guess I try to see people as they really are and expect them to act as themselves. I don’t “loan” any more than I can afford to never see again. And if I’m not repaid, then my relationship with that person won’t be harmed because I didn’t really expect to be repaid in the first place.

So what does that have to do with anything? Today, it’s just a reminder that we can take nothing for granted. People make mistakes. We need to be prepared for that eventuality.

Today, the pharmacist made a mistake with my medications. It wouldn’t have killed me. The difference was in dosage: 20 mg atorvastatin (aka Lipitor) when I have been prescribed 40 mg pills. I noticed the pills were smaller than I have been taking daily for nearly nine months now. They were still oblong and white, but when I did a comparison to the last of the pills left from my previous refill, the difference became clear. The size was not the only difference; there was also a number printed on one side: 123 vs. 122.

I called. I returned them. I came home with the right meds this time.

I’m concerned. I know mistakes happen, but if this happened to me, how many other people are getting the wrong medications and, not knowing what to look for, are taking something they shouldn’t be?

I don’t want anyone to be fired. I do hope the pharmacist takes the chance to review quality control procedures with the staff to prevent another, possibly more disastrous, mixup.

And I will remain vigilant, expecting the worst and double-checking everything.

Top, a 20 mg pill that came in my bottle labeled as 40 mg pills.

Top, a 20 mg tablet that came in my bottle labeled as 40 mg tablets. Bottom, my usual 40 mg tablet.

Rainy Sunday Ramblings

08 Sunday Feb 2015

Posted by in Keri Losavio

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First rain in the Bay Area in 2015 this weekend. We’ve been listening to wind howling and rattling the vertical blinds in the bedroom. Cappy keeps sitting by the glass doors to the backyard asking to go out. When the sun briefly came out and splintered into a flat rainbow – yes, flat, no arc, just lines of color across the sky and clouds – we let him taste the outside world for a minute. Nothing like watching a small black cat gingerly put a paw down, lift and shake it, quietly picking his way 10 feet out and racing back inside. He meowed at us, asking why we made him go outside.

I like rainy Sundays. We’ve got a fire roaring in the fireplace. John is keeping the music alive. We’re listening to George Harrison sing While My Guitar Gently Weeps right now. I just finished re-reading a short story, The Ramshead Algorithm, by KJ Kabza. It gets the imagination going. It’s firmly rooted in this world but opens up an infinite number of other worlds.

I’m also doing the mundane. I’m trying to regain what I’ve lost, so I’ve been rolling golf balls around in my left hand this afternoon. It seems ridiculous that I can’t grasp a receipt, clip my nails or manipulate money. I know I’m lucky. The strokes could have robbed me of so much more. Yes, strokes, multiple small cryptogenic embolic strokes. I’m still struggling with the fact of the strokes. I’m too young. I didn’t know I was having them when I was having them. The cryptogenic aspect means I don’t know why or how to prevent recurrence. There’s always a bit of fear in the back of my mind now. I don’t like living this way. I don’t know how not to. I have to find my own way through. Please don’t tell me you know what I need to do. You don’t know. It’s my body, my brain, my chemistry. I did not bring this on myself. Eating or not eating something won’t make me better. Shit happens.

And if you believe in God – any God – don’t waste your prayers on me. I don’t believe. That’s not a challenge. Just a statement of fact.

It’s still raining. I hope it rains for a while to come. In every life some rain must fall. The drought needs to be quenched.

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